Marriage did not come easily to me. Throughout my 20s and 30s, I struggled with commitment phobia, carrying a melancholic awareness that if things didn't change, I'd end up single and childless. The frightening divorce statistics, along with my own observations of unhappy marriages made me wonder if it was even worth trying. When I did try, I was bombarded with fatalistic advice such as "You'll know when you know" and "If she were the right one, it wouldn't be so hard".
At the same time, I was struggling with similar issues as a therapist trying to help young families. When I came across Bowen Family Systems Theory, it transformed my thinking about both my purpose as a therapist, and my own struggles with intimacy. Within a year, I had met my future wife.
There are resources available to explain this theory to therapists, and even some good books for married couples in crisis, but this site is my attempt to bring this wisdom to singles and young couples. The message is a hopeful one: Your struggles are not meaningless, and you are capable of building a marriage that is far better than the ones you've seen so far.
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I've been a therapist for over 15 years in Montreal, Vancouver and Toronto. My approach combines Family Systems, Psychodynamic and Mindfulness perspectives.
I'm in the process of writing two books: the first, The Best Time To Work on Your Marriage is When You're Single. will be released in early February 2013; the second, co-authored with Dr. Aliza Israel, will be a "how to" manual for therapists curious about Family Systems Therapy based on interviews with my late supervisor Dr. David Freeman.
My background includes a Masters of Social Work from McGill University, a Bachelor of Commerce (Marketing) from Concordia University, and post-graduate training in Bowen Theory from The Western Pensylvania Family Center.
I live in Toronto with my wife, who is a child and adolescent psychiatrist; our son; and a lop-eared rabbit named Lester.
For information about my therapy practice, please visit www.nadigel.com/