#5: Conflict and Disengagement in Marriage. Which is better? Which is worse?

This week, while Avrum is off promoting his newly published book*, Lorna and Registered Intern Christina Heymoss discuss marriage, relationships, conflict and conflict avoidance.  Do they solve the relationship dilemma? They can only try.  

  • In many conflict avoidant marriages…both people are accommodating, giving up self to preserve harmony.
  • I don’t think you can take lack of arguing as evidence of marital satisfaction or health.
  • There’s not some advice that we can just remember to use right away when we’re in an argument with a partner.
  • The last thing that I need when I have a problem with my spouse is someone to support me in my viewpoint!

Bowen, M. (1978). Family therapy in clinical practice. New York: J. Aronson. 

Hecht, L. Lorna Hecht, MFT-Retrieved November 12, 2015, from http://lornahecht.com/specifically-for-you/#families

Nadigel, A. (n.d.). Avrum Nadigel - Home. Retrieved November 13, 2015, from http://www.nadigel.com/ 

*Nadigel, A. (2015). Learning to commit: The best time to work on your marriage is when you're single. Self-Counsel Press, (November 7, 2015). 

Noble, Ed. Lead Pastor Wisdom- Conflict Inevitable, Carnage Optional.Wisdom, Part 6, Nov. 8, 2015

Ohlson, K. (2015, September 1). The Einstein of Love. Retrieved November 13, 2015. 

Porges, S. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. New York: W. W. Norton. 

Titelman, P. (2014). Emotional Reactivity, Fusion and Differentiation of Self in Family Physiology: Clinical Case Research. In Differentiation of self: Bowen family systems theory perspectives. New York, New York: Routledge.